23 Warning Signs Individuals Disregarded In Relationships That Caused The Most Horrific Splits

 Everybody has that one relationship that, when it blows up, makes you think back on all the warning signs you ignored along the way—things that, in retrospect, seem like a big "you should have known from that alone" warning.

These kinds of breakups can be particularly painful since it's hard not to feel guilty for getting there in the first place and exposing yourself to someone who wasn't worthy of your vulnerability.

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"What was the first red flag you ignored in your worst relationship?" posed by Reddit user u/HappyHappyJoyJoy44 invited others to describe the warning indications they disregarded.

With over 4,000 responses to the topic, it appears that a lot of people were there with a lot to say. Here are some of the most insightful ones:

1. "The flimsiness. pledging to act, then neglecting to follow through. Cheap words that raise your expectations but ultimately yield nothing. Not once, but often until you understand that's who they are."
Say_Fellas —u

2. "Dismissive comments about my interests seemed minor until they became a pattern."
—u/ElegantMia

This was the exact type of relationship I ended last time, and while it didn't seem like a problem at first, it turned out to be really harmful. You're not required to stick with someone who doesn't encourage you."

—u/It420lt

3. "Even though they were 'too busy' to respond to texts, they managed to spend the entire day posting on social media."

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—u/imurdigigirlfriend

4. "When we disagreed and I didn't comply with her demands, she would frequently say, 'Maybe we shouldn't be together then.'" Every time she said something like that, it scared me into thinking I knew what I wanted."
"I eventually told myself, 'Well, she's out if she says it three times,' at that point. When she did, I responded, "Yeah, you're right; we shouldn't," and I walked away. I spent eight years with that person.

—u/E2thajay

5. "The golden rule: If they'll cheat with you, they'll cheat on you."
—u/Deserted_And_Stranded

6. "I also disregarded the warning sign of rage. "Oh, he hates this person and is so angry; this person must have wounded him deeply," or "He had a bad day." Nope, he was just a narcissistic abusive person."

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"He enjoyed inciting rage, causing harm to others, and instilling fear in others. It was his method of manipulating people and circumstances to make sure things went his way. I'm relieved that marriage didn't work out. Stay away from thugs. It's not a passing mood.

—u/Prudent_Neck832

7. "She was not friendly with anyone. She was a combative and domineering individual in all of her intimate partnerships. I chose to ignore all of it and believed she would improve, but once I moved in with her, I discovered she was mentally ill, had anger management problems, and refused to seek help."
—u/Willing-Hour3643

8. "Disregarded their incessant need to be in charge of everything as just 'being protective.'"

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—u/SmallHazel

9. "His pals assured me I could do so much better when I met them. His friends wouldn't be attempting to alert me if he was a truly wonderful man. He developed into a habitual gaslighter and cheater. He was never at fault; it was always "everyone else's fault," and others made up stories about him "just because."
—u/WavyTexan

10. "Dismissive actions when I spoke my emotions. I mistakenly believed it to be a temporary phase, but it turned out to be a pattern."
—u/qbetty602

11. "My experience began on the first date. He claimed that his lateness was due to difficulty locating parking. Later on, he told me that he had really walked there from his adjacent flat. Yes, we all tell harmless small lies from time to time, but throughout the relationship, he only lied."
Happy Happy Joy Joy44 —u

12. "Being stonewalled (having my messages/calls ignored) when he didn't want to talk through our issues, which resulted in him also gaslighting me."
No-Cartoonist8495 —u

13. "After learning that I had passed, he was relieved that I wouldn't fail since I wouldn't be 'intellectual' enough for him. That's when I thought, 'bell-end.' Undoubtedly, I should have obeyed my instincts."

Cultura Rf / Getty Images/Image Source

—u/MelonBump

14. "He disparaged other ladies all the time. He would make disparaging remarks about their appearance, weight, or tattoos, and as time passed, I experienced his contempt as well. With him, I gained insight into a challenging and life-changing lesson."
—u/ZealousidealToe9439

15. "His mother mistreated him as he was the only child. I guess I immediately took on that maternal role in place of him. I was very innocent."
—u/ilithscoffee

16. "She really attempted to end our relationship by telling me she wasn't the right fit, but I was able to persuade her otherwise. Apparently, she was correct. After six years of dating, I got married to her. I had gone through the most horrific relationship of my life, and years of treatment were required to repair the damage. People will use a variety of methods to tell you who they are, so pay attention."
—u/Kaystew666

17. "He treated his mother rudely, angrily abusing her over a small matter. It didn't take him long to treat me worse than the same on insignificant matters."
—u/XLittleMagpieX

18. "Unrelenting chase after I turned him down. It's instilled in us to believe that being pursued indicates interest in us and that it's a romantic gesture. Actually, though, it's a warning sign that shows how disrespectful they are of the word "no." I definitely take that into consideration after being in an emotionally abusive relationship for five years."
—u/lydviciousss

19. "The idea that his exclusive means of expressing love or affection were presents or material possessions. It comes out that power, financial abuse, and manipulation were the foundation of the entire relationship. It took a lot of effort to rectify that circumstance."

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—u/AshumSmashums

20. "I was 19, he was 24, not a huge gap, but as they say —there's a reason girls his age don't want to date him."
—u/Clean-Engine2657

21. "He claimed he didn't like how I am with my friends after meeting them for the first time, both male and female. He likes me solely in our relationship. Although that infuriated me at the time, years later I realized it was a serious warning sign. A spouse doesn't truly accept you as a person if they can't embrace every aspect of you."
—u/GuavaEnough9697

22. "Hitting me with the silent treatment if he disapproved of me or what I was doing."
—u/babyfresno77

23. "Courage. There are only two reasons why someone could be accusing you of cheating on them when you are not: either they are projecting and are immature, or they are the ones who are cheating. Both are good grounds to call it quits on the romance."
—u/Rural_Banana